


There's a Juggalo in my Pantry

by TheMissluluB



Series: Void [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Actually Talking About Your Feelings For Once, Admitting You Don't Know What An Ironing Board Is, Anxiety, Depression, Depression naps are valid naps, Equius has both at the same time, Good Pale Piles, Multi, Pesterlog, Small reference to learning sign language, Social Anxiety, Water Fight, but not all pesterlog, mentions of parental guardian death and grieving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-18 18:50:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15492381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMissluluB/pseuds/TheMissluluB
Summary: Equius is shocked and a little scared when he hears something fall inside his pantry, but he goes and checks it out nonetheless. He's even more shocked when it's a person rather than a ghost (or an errant Aradiabot).Knowing the fact that he was a highblood (and a Makara at that), he couldn't exactly ask him to leave, so he didn't. He decides to accept the juggalo in his pantry as his new roommate.In all honesty, he likes the company.





	There's a Juggalo in my Pantry

**Author's Note:**

> The second installment of Equius's Void.
> 
> I actually started this side before Kurloz's side, however it took much longer to write! I started it when i was sick actually, based off my sick brain saying 'There's a juggalo in my pantry... he kind of lives here now', then soon made it attached to Horuss's whole "IM RUNNING AWAY FROM LIFE" story. It was fun!
> 
> ~~i call this fic Death By Coding Two: The AO3 Fuckening~~  
> 

Your name is Equius Zahhak and you have just realised that your observation skills need vast improvements. Why?

Well.

A few nights ago (4, to be exact) you could have sworn that you saw something enter your food storage block, also known as your pantry. If there’s one thing good about humans, it is their tenacity to name things the Proper names. You had initially come downstairs to lock your front door, but you had also fancied a snack, and thus you had entered the food preparation block (AKA, the Kitchen). That’s when you thought you’d seen some blur enter said food storage block. But you thought that you had been seeing things because of how tired you were, so had shrugged it off. You locked the door of the pantry, grabbed a granola bar and locked your front door before returning to your respiteblock. You then proceeded to tell Nepeta about it. She told you it might have been a Ghost, or Aradiabot coming into your pantry. You said both of those were impossibilities and thus didn’t think on it again. You didn’t need to enter the block for a while, so that helped in you Not Thinking About It.

Then it happened.

Today.

You heard something fall.

You are absolutely terrified right now. There is a Ghost or an Aradiabot in your pantry, and you don’t want to die at this moment in time. What if it is a daywalker? Floods of impossibilities from scary movies you shouldn’t have watched when you were 4 sweeps old cross your mind. You equip a flashlight, but immediately break it with a dash of uncontrolled strength because of your terror. Well, you suppose your fists will do. You quietly step towards (your doom) the door, unlocking it and opening it.

… _How are you supposed to see and punch a ghost, Equius?_ This was a bad idea on your part.

Shaking, you look around the room, noticing the box of cereal on the floor. You slowly walk towards it while your mind screams at you to leave. You feel like the first victim of a horror movie. Gosh darn your innate curiosity. On the bright side, you are also very good at fleeing. You have been practicing. Totally.

You finally reach the errant box of cereal. You look down at the box. Sneer at it like it hurt your moirail. Gently tap the box with your foot.

Nothing happened.

“Oh,” You mumble. You debate whether you should leave the box on the floor or put it back on the shelf. You shrug, before deciding put it back on the shelf. “I wonder how you fell off?” Why are you asking a cereal box questions? You’ve officially lost your marbles. You turn around to leave.

Instead of leaving though, something that feels like a bat hits you on the head and you promptly get knocked out.

* * *

You wake up outside your pantry door and wonder what had happened. You feel like you died, or an approximation of it. Your head hurts a lot, like something had attempted to tear it apart, but was unable to succeed.

All you can hear faintly in the back of your head is ‘Don’t enter,’ and that… just makes you want to enter. Because this is _your_ hive and _your_ pantry, and you are not being locked out of your own pantry!

You barge the door open again and attempt to walk down the steps. “Attempt” meaning miss the only step and fall flat on your face.

Ow.

That hurt.

_Why is the pantry flooring concrete? This was a bad design choice. 0/10, Do not recommend._

You quickly get up.

“Whoever and wherever you are, you should get out of my pantry this instant. This is not yours and I will not be barred from my own space!” You call out to nothing, hoping the nothingness would respond. “I mean it!” That was weak and you should feel weak. But it worked!

Sort of.

Something popped their head out from behind the door. They seemed to have an extreme amount of hair and appeared to be fairly tall. They looked sad. Both the mock kind Nepeta does to convince you otherwise in trivial matters (such as getting you to roleplay when you have already said no), and the actual sad. It is… sad. The light from your kitchen helps illuminate some of the features of the figure, so upon further inspection you notice a pair of Makara-esque horns. Aren’t those two still missing? You are sure that in the hunt for ex-players, no one could find the Makaras. Elusive, they are. Or at least, everyone thinks so. No one asks you anything, anyway.

The figure shuffles. You talk for them. Unfortunately, you talking for them meant you asking the first thing that was on your mind.

“Are you a ghost?”

_Well done, Equius. Well done._

They stare at you like you’re an idiot (which you honestly _are)_ before slowly, _slowly,_ shaking their head.

“Okay, not a ghost, got it,” You nod, speaking quietly so you don’t startle them. You don’t know _if_ they’re a Makara yet, you can ask that. “Are you a Makara?”

The figure shuffles some more before nodding, which was just barely visible. You’d have missed it if you were not looking for it. “Ok, Makara. Got it.” At least now you know of the figures possible gender, if The Highblood is anything to go by. “Are you a boy?” You ask, just in case. It’s good to ask. Oh- “If neigh-neither, just make the ‘so-so’ sign with your hand,” You add. Gender is complicated. The figure nods anyway. “Ok, so you’re a boy.” He nods once more.

The tricky-yet-not-so-tricky part is figuring out _which_ Makara he is. Let’s start with the facts you already know. You are 100% sure The Highblood is not _that_ tall; he was shorter than you when you last checked. But he could have grown. It is unlikely to happen, but it’s still a very small (hA) possibility. So that leaves the _other_ option. The Beforus option.

“Which highblood are you?” You ask. He stares at you. He doesn’t answer. Oh, fiddlesticks, how’s he supposed to answer that? It not yes or no! Well done, idiot. “I mean. Are you-Uh.” You forgot the Other Makara’s name. Carlos? Was it Carlos? Vantas called him Carlos, you are sure of it. But what if it’s _not??_ That would be _terrible._ You don’t want to insult him! Oh, gosh, no! Quick, go for the other one, you’re starting to sound like Nitram!

“Are you The H-Gamzee, are you Gamzee? I don’t think you are, but I cannot remember his alternate’s name, and I-” And you blabbed because you can’t stop babbling. You are cut off by him shaking his head. He moves his hands and makes motions with them, you assume he is spelling out his name with his fingers. However, you don’t understand his sign language; you weren’t granted the Gift of the Gab. You kind of… awkwardly stare at his hands until he gets the message that you didn’t get it. It soon clicks and you actually hear him sigh. He appears to take something out of his pocket, before sliding it across the floor towards you. You pick it up.

It’s a fiddlesticking _business card._

Well, at least it has his name on it.

‘KURLOZ MAKARA.’

“So. Kurloz is your name,” Well, you weren’t _too_ far off. He nods. “What are you doing in my pantry?” He shrugs. You sigh. You can’t just ask him to _leave,_ he’s a _highblood._ You pick up the cereal that you just put back. “Don’t consume all of my food,” You say, leaving him in the pantry and exiting the room. You shut the door behind you, locking it again.

You quickly unlock it, ask if he would like it locked, to which he nodded, so you nodded too and left again, relocking the door.

Well, that just happened.

You pour yourself a glass of milk and a bowl of cereal.

You deserve a break.

* * *

It’s been about a week since the mysterious figure known as Kurloz Makara got locked in your pantry. Conversations between the two of you are… well, silent at best and frosty at worst, if the pun on “Frosties” can be pardoned. You don’t know why he’s _here._ You can’t ask him to _leave._ The worst part is you don’t know how to _tell_ anyone.

‘Oh, hi! By the way, remember that highblood you all want to murder? Not The Highblood, the other highblood, yes that one. Yes, he’s hiding in my pantry! Isn’t that great?’

It sounds stupid.

Worst of all no one would even believe you. ‘What’s he doing there? Are you seeing things, Equius?’

How do you even word it to _Nepeta??_ You two practically share a _life,_ it’s impossible to keep something as big as _this_ from her!! It’s untruthful at worst and inane at best.

You are seriously stuck through a hoop here.

Some things are still the same, though. For example, Karkat still does his Weekly updates; updated every Sunday at 10 am on the dot. You like that it is a constant in your life, coming at the same day and time every week. Does he plan them? Are they on Automatic Posting so they always appear on Sunday at 10 am? Does he write it all out and copy and paste it? You can’t fathom it but you like your leaders preparedness. Even if you’re still getting to grips with his off-spectrum blood colour.

Speaking of which, one should be appearing soon. You don’t know why reading his weekly updates are the highlight of your week but you suppose it is like reading the news. But it is friend news. Maybe you’re worried about someone but you’re too scared to speak to them? You don’t actually know. You suppose you _are_ pretty much a cryptid nowadays, avoiding everyone that isn’t Nepeta. You suppose that’s also why you don’t want to tell anyone about your-uh, an errant juggalo taking hive in your pantry.

Ah! Here’s the update.

You read through it.

\-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] posted in forum: “YOUR WEEKLY UPDATE.” --

CG: ALRIGHT FUCKS, HERE’S YOUR UPDATE FOR THE WEEK.  
CG: IMPORTANT NEWS UPDATES FIRST:  
CG: WHOEVER LET VRISKA OFF HER PERMANENT BAN OF HUMAN DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS CAN TALK TO ME *PERSONALLY*, BECAUSE LOOK WHAT HAPPENED! SOMEONE’S HIVE WAS SET ON FIRE. I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO.  
CG: NEWS UPDATE TWO: ZAHHAK TWO HAS BECOME EVEN MORE CRYPTID-LIKE THAN USUAL, SO PLEASE KEEP AN EYE ON HIM. HE’S A VOID PLAYER SO I SORT OF EXPECT HIM TO BE CRYPTID-LIKE BUT IT DOESN’T HURT TO BE CAREFUL. ALSO, ON THIS POINT I MEAN HORUSS, NOT EQUIUS. EQUIUS HAS ALWAYS BEEN A CRYPTID ASSHOLE BUT AT LEAST HE STILL READS THESE. I THINK. NEPETA TOLD ME HE DOES. I HAVE NO REASON TO NOT BELIEVE HER, SO I DO.  
CG: THAT DOESN’T MEAN EQUIUS ISN’T A CRYPTID ASSHOLE.  
CG: BECAUSE HE IS.  
CG: BUT YOU ALL KNOW THAT.  
CG: EVEN EQUIUS HIMSELF KNOWS THAT.  
CG: EQUIUS, IF YOU’RE READING THIS, PLEASE STOP BEING A CRYPTID.  
CG: ANYWAY, BACK TO THE POINT. THE THIRD NEWS UPDATE, AND SPEAKING OF CRYPTIDS IS: THE MAKARA’S ARE STILL NOWHERE TO BE FOUND; THOUGH, LIKE I SAID LAST WEEK, A BLUR OF PURPLE HAS BEEN SPOTTED IN MULTIPLE PLACES AROUND THE VILLAGE, SO BE CAREFUL.   
CG: THEY WERE SPOTTED BY DIRK, SO THE INFORMATION IS PRETTY RELIABLE.   
CG: ALSO, GAMZEE: IF YOU’RE READING THIS, DON’T EVEN FUCKING **ATTEMPT** STICK THAT PIECE OF SHIT CODPIECE IN MY FACE.  
CG: IT IS DISGUSTING AND YOU KNOW IT. DON’T GIVE ME THAT LOOK. I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE ATTACHED TO IT, IT’S A PIECE OF SHIT.   
CG: ... ANYWAY.  
CG: ONTO THE ALTERNIAN NEWS:   
CG: ERIDAN, YOUR NEW CAPE ACTUALLY LOOKS PRETTY DECENT.   
CG: IT’S LIKE A NICE JACKET MORE THAN A CAPE AND IT’S NOT GAUDY AS FUCK. I’M KIND OF PROUD ACTUALLY.   
CG: BUT PLEASE.   
CG: ***PLEASE*** BURN THAT SHIRT.  
CG: IT IS HIDEOUS.   
CG: KANAYA AGREES WITH ME.  
CG: SPEAKING OF KANAYA, SHE’S RUNNING LOW ON BLOOD SO IF YOU WANT TO DONATE SOME PLEASE DO. SHE NEEDS IT ESPECIALLY IN COLOURS VIOLET, COBALT, INDIGO, PURPLE (FOR OBVIOUS REASONS), AND GOLD.   
CG: I THINK THAT’S IT ON THE ALTERNIAN NEWS THIS WEEK.   
CG: OH, AND FEFERI IS LOOKING FOR NEW SQUIDDLES.   
CG: THAT’S IT.  
CG: HUMAN NEWS:  
CG: DIRK, STOP TRYING TO BUILD AI’S, YOU IDIOT. YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME. ALSO, GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP. BEING NOCTURNAL FUCKS UP A HUMAN, APPARENTLY.  
CG: JANE’S DOING A BAKE SALE FROM NEXT MONDAY UNTIL THURSDAY AT 3PM UNTIL 5PM - OR WHENEVER THE CAKES ARE GONE. GET THEM WHILE THEY ARE HOT.  
CG: AVOID JOHNS HIVE AT ALL COSTS. HE IS SETTING UP SOMETHING ELABORATE BUT HE WON’T TELL ME WHAT. I’M KIND OF SCARED.  
CG: AND NOW ON TO THE BEFORAN NEWS. KANKRI, AS USUAL, SENT IN THE NEWS, WHICH I REWROTE AND SUMMARISED. HERE IT IS:  
CG: CARLOS- WAIT.  
CG: WAIT, HIS NAME IS **KURLOZ**? WOW, FUCK, I DID *NOT* KNOW THAT.  
CG: ANYWAY, HE IS STILL NOWHERE TO BE SEEN, BUT THE ‘KURLOZ MAKARA MUST DIE’ TEAM SHOULD BE DISBANDED IMMEDIATELY (KANKRI’S WORDS, NOT MINE). HIS REASONING IS STUPID, BUT HE HAS A GOOD POINT. ENOUGH PEOPLE HAVE DIED ALREADY WITHOUT PLOTTING FOR MORE DEATHS. DISBAND, SHITHEADS.  
CG: DAMARA IS SELLING WEED AT THE STREET CORNER ON SEVENTHS STREET IF YOU WANT SOME. SHE SELLS EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 2 AM SHARP. I THINK KANKRI’S MESSAGE WAS TELL HER TO STOP BUT FUCK THAT. LET DAMARA DO WHAT SHE WANTS, HER SELLING WEED ISN’T HURTING ANYONE. SO MY POINT IS, YOU CAN BUY WEED FROM DAMARA EVERY WEDNESDAY AT 2 AM ON SEVENTHS.   
CG: MEENAH, STOP FUCKING STABBING INANIMATE OBJECTS NOT MADE FOR STABBING. INVEST IN A FUCKING SPARRING ROBOT. EQUIUS BUILDS LOADS JUST ASK HIM.  
CG: OR DON’T, I DON’T CARE.  
CG: THERE WAS ALSO AN ENTIRE PARAGRAPH ON ARANEA, BUT I NEVER READ IT. I THINK SHE OPENED A LIBRARY? I DON’T KNOW, NOR DO I ACTUALLY CARE. IT’S NOT NEWSWORTHY, THAT’S ALL I’LL SAY.   
CG: AND FINALLY, A FINISHING NOTE:  
CG: THERE’S SUPPOSED TO BE A VIDEOGAME NIGHT AT JOHN OR JADE’S HIVE. I’M PRETTY SURE IT’S AT JADES.  
CG: YEP, AT JADES HIVE NEXT FRIDAY AT 8PM IS VIDEO GAME NIGHT. COME IF YOU WANT, THERE’S FREE FOOD AND MARIO PARTY.  
CG: IMPORTANT ADDENDUMS TO THE MESSAGES ABOVE:  
CG: KANAYA MESSAGED ME SAYING SHE DOESN’T LIKE GOLD BLOOD, AND SHE HAS ENOUGH COBALT. YOU DON’T NEED TO TELL ME WHY, KANAYA, I DON’T WANT TO KNOW. THE MENTAL IMAGES WILL NEVER LEAVE MY PAN. FUCK. ANYWAY, YOU ALL WITH GOLD AND COBALT CRAWLING THROUGH YOUR VEINS DON’T NEED TO DONATE ANY BLOOD TO KANAYA. HOWEVER, THOSE WITH VIOLET, INDIGO, AND PURPLE BLOOD NEED TO GO DONATE BLOOD TO KANAYA, BECAUSE THOSE ONES ARE SUPER FUCKING LOW IN STOCK. THOUGH I KNOW GETTING PURPLE BLOOD IS BASICALLY IMPOSSIBLE NOW, CONSIDERING THE MISSING CLOWN ASSHOLES, BUT I JUST THOUGHT TO MENTION IT ANYWAY. BUT IF YOU **CAN** SOMEHOW OBTAIN PURPLE BLOOD TO OFFER KANAYA, I WILL BE BOTH SHOCKED **AND** SURPRISED.  
CG: IF YOU’RE NOT ANY OF THESE COLOURS, AND YOU’RE NOT HUMAN, YOU **CAN** DONATE SOME BLOOD TO HER IF YOU REALLY WANT TO. THAT’S COMPLETELY OK TO DO AND IN FACT I ENCOURAGE YOU TO DO SO IF YOU CAN AND WANT TO.  
CG: ADDENDUM TWO: DAMARA MESSAGED SAYING TO FEEL FREE TO CONTACT HER FOR WEED PRICES, SO LONG AS YOUR NAME ISN’T ‘MEENAH PEIXES’, ‘ARANEA SERKET’, ‘RUFIOH NITRAM’, OR ‘KANKRI VANTAS’. SHE ALSO SAID THAT SHE PREFERS CASH PAYMENT, BUT IF YOU HAVEN’T GOT CHANGE, CHEQUES ADDRESSED TO ‘ODIGEM ARAMAD’ ARE AN ACCEPTABLE PAYMENT. CREDIT AND DEBIT CARDS ARE ACCEPTABLE TOO, BUT SHE WILL GLARE AT YOU WITH INTENT TO KILL SO I PERSONALLY WOULDN’T BOTHER DOING THAT. BUYBUDDIES AND IGRUB-PAY ARE ALSO GOOD FOR PAYMENT. AND REMEMBER TO TIP! OTHERWISE: ‘YOU’LL BE SMOKING OREGANO’. I HOPE I TRANSLATED THAT RIGHT.   
CG: IS THERE ANYMORE ADDENDUMS BEFORE I CLOSE THIS?  
CG: NO?  
CG: ALRIGHT THEN, THIS HAS BEEN YOUR WEEKLY UPDATE THEN, FUCKS. SEE YOU ALL NEXT WEEK.

So, this week you can expect to possibly donate your blood to Kanaya. The Jadeblood has a lot of your respect; she holds herself with poise, grace, and an air of politeness you can only wish to be like. Even though the hemospectrum doesn’t really matter anymore, she held her place in it with such pride and grace that you’d think she was higher than a mere Jade, if it weren’t for the green text and the noted lack of backstabbing.

… You probably will donate some blood to her. It’s only the right thing to do, plus she would do the same for you if you were in the same situation as her. But not today. Tomorrow. Maybe you’ll message her. But of course, not today.

You may also receive a message from the Beforan heiress this week. You don’t know how you feel about that. You kind of hope she doesn’t contact you.

And finally, Horuss has gone semi-missing… again. Or he’s just not talking to anyone… again. You can never tell with him. He is an enigma. An enigma that is better than you at everything but insists that he’s the worst.

If you disappeared, no one but Nepeta would care. No one but Nepeta would notice. Even now, you’re simply an afterthought. Everyone knows you’re a cryptid asshole. Even you.

So no, you won’t stop being a cryptid.

Ah, here comes that sweet sense of self hatred. It’s become a normal thing, now. Maybe today is a ‘lay on the human sleeping platform and not move’ day.

But you have _stuff_ to do.

But you don’t _want_ to do it.

Wait.

You are not the only person in this hive anymore.

You groan, before standing up and walking down to your pantry. You knock the door, before entering.

“If you are going to live here, you’ll-” You promptly stop speaking when you notice what the highblood is doing.

Uhm. You blink. He looks up at you. “Are you cleaning my pantry?”

He nods.

“Oh.” You begin to absently shuffle on your feet. “Can you maybe clean my kitchen, too? I don’t mean to be rude but -” You babble some more, before he cuts you off by placing a finger on your lips, to which you do _not_ emit a ‘meep’ sound, and nods.

That was a lot easier than you were expecting it to be. And totally not strange and awkward. Nope. He quickly retracts the finger, and stands back, a small smile on his face.

You barely whisper, “Do you like cleaning?” and he shrugs, nodding an affirmative. “Oh,” you mumble, “I have mixed feelings about it.”

A single stare from him reads a big message. ‘I can tell’, you assume he is saying. He continues to sweep up while you watch. It is oddly therapeutic, watching someone clean. He looks up at you. You blink. Oh, he probably thinks it’s weird. You look down.

“Sorry.” You don’t think you’ve spoke as much in your life than you’ve spoken to him. With the exception of Nepeta, but at least she can _hold a conversation._ Out of the people who couldn’t hold a conversation, well… you would exclude the conversations you had with your bots to practice how to start conversations and also to beat them up, and your conversations with Aurthour (Rest in Peace; Good butler, best lusus). Out of every troll you’ve spoke to, you spoke the most to him to hold a conversation.

You notice him shrug, and continue to sweep. You stare for a moment longer. “Well, Bye,” You whisper, as you escape out of the pantry and back into your room.

You hope that didn’t seem weird.

Honestly? You can’t figure out what he really wants. Because really, why would he want to stay here? You can’t offer him anything in return.

You flop onto your human reclining platform; you don’t know the name of this particular human thing, so you’re just saying everything it is to hopefully get the name right sooner or later.

… Maybe a nap will help your mood. It’s about time for it, anyway.

* * *

According to the time-telling device on the wall, your depression nap lasted about 4 hours. You’re not sure if it’s classed as a nap anymore, considering that’s how much sleep you get of a night time recently anyway. You sit up at stretch.

You doubt that Kurloz would have actually _cleaned_ your kitchen, despite him ‘saying’ he would, because he has no reason to. Why should he? It’s supposed to be _your_ responsibility. So you won’t expect him to have completed that task. Therefore, you have many, many chores to complete today. Plus that.

Ugh.

You sigh, and debate whether or not you should get up. You decide to do it when you hear movement. You sigh a deeper, heavier sigh, and get up. You haven’t showered in a while, anyway. Might as well add that to the top of the chore list.

When you open the door to leave your respite block though, you immediately stop in your tracks.

The H- Mak- _Kurloz_ is standing statue still in front of you, polishing cloth in one hand, and a spray can of furniture polish in the other. He blinks. He looks a little shell shocked that he had been caught. You’ve never see him outside the pantry before now, even though you gave him a key to it. You never realised how much of a mess he looked until now. Even his paint is a mess, _and_ is pretty much AWOL. He’s covered in cuts and bruises you never noticed until now. You haven’t fixed the light fitting in there yet, after all.

The only explanation you can think of as to why he cleaned your whole hive though is that he had misinterpreted ‘can you clean my kitchen?’ as ‘clean my _whole entire gosh darned hive’._ That, or he did it on purpose. But who the hell cleans an entire hive _purposefully?_

Glancing down the balcony-like platform that is your upstairs hallway, you notice that, other than a spot of dust, this is the cleanest you’ve ever seen your hive. Except wh-no… that’s _including_ when you first moved in. Including when it was first _built._

You blink. He blinks again.

“Uh,” You start, before immediately shutting your mouth because _you genuinely have no idea what to say._ He seems to panic, before shaking it off.

“You… cleaned my hive?” You ask. He nods.

“Entirely?” He makes a so-so sign, before nodding. Oh, he might need something he cannot find.

“Do you require assistance?”

A nod. When you ask what he needs, he starts to mime a weird forwards and backwards motion. You are not very good at charades, so you just guess everything which comes to mind.

But they were all wrong.

Of course they were.

This poor Highblood has to deal with your absolutely _dire_ guessing skills, you _knew_ \- “I should have brushed up on them! It should have been at the top of my list of things to get better at considering-” And now you’re babbling.

Out loud.

_Again!_

In _front_ of him.

_Again!!_

You want to crawl up into a ball and _DIE._

He cuts you off, though. He cuts you off and it startles you entirely. “-Vacuum!”

You missed most of what he said, but you’re more reeling over the fact he actually _said_ something.

“What?”

_Very articulate, Equius. Well done._

He’s covering his mouth. You suppose he just didn’t… want to speak? But he spoke just now. You thought he _couldn’t_ speak, but it turns out that he _could_ but he just didn’t _want_ to. It’s not that you’re not fine with that! You’d just want clarification as to what he _flipping well WANTS from you!!!!_

“It. It was a Vacuum cleaner.” He mumbles, “I d’nno where it is. I. I need it.”

“Oh.”

That’s what he wants. He shuffles on his feet. You compose yourself enough to lead him to the airing cabinet, with the vacuum inside. It’s the cupboard with all your cleaning supplies that you don’t use. When was the last time you cleaned _properly?_ Aurthour would not be impressed. He’d be pretty upset, actually.

Kurloz stares at the dust (you think?) that’s inside the cabinet. You are pretty sure that you saw his eye twitch. He gingerly picks up the contraption (that you swear you’ve used more than once, really!) and nods what you assume is a ‘thanks’. You watch him carry it down the stairs and find a viable plug outlet to use.

You proceed to watch him vacuum. Because of this, you come to the realisation that there _are_ people who clean purposefully, and that one of those people is the highblood residing in your pantry.

You tell him to shower after he’s finished vacuuming. You’ve decided you’ll shower tomorrow. It’s Sunday, everyone showers on Sunday, and you’d rather have the fresh hot water on Monday than risk your shower going cold today. He seems worried about clean clothing; he _has_ been wearing the same stuff for… well, for a long time. So, you offer him a fresh clean towel, an old hoodie too big for you (but in the good way), and a pair of shorts you’ve never wore, fresh with tag.

Of course, the idiot decides to clean your bathroom first. You still can’t get over the fact that people clean _willingly._ Then he pesters you for an ‘iron’. You relent after a while and offer him the awful contraption that you own. It’s basically falling apart. You tell him that it’s the closest thing to an ‘iron’ you have, and when asked you say that you don’t own an ‘ironing board’, whatever that is (what the heck is an _‘ironing board??’)._ He glares at you, slightly pissed, slightly confused, and slightly bewildered. Finally, he sighs.

“You gotta promise me that you’ll get a new iron and ironing board before I go in,” He mumbles. He’s… quiet. It’s unexpected of a Makara, but he’s _very, very quiet._ A little too quiet, like he isn’t used to speaking. Which… you suppose he _isn’t._ You roll your eyes anyway. He glares at you, thin-lipped. You sigh and answer a vague affirmative. He crosses his arms. Not letting up, huh?

“Fine. You can come with me,” You say, hands on your hips. Oh, that was the wrong choice of words. His eyes went wide, but he quickly corrected himself. He wasn’t going to go down that easily. You decide to clarify what you meant for him, “I don’t have a clue what I’m looking for.”

A wave of understanding seemed to flow over Kurloz. His mouth made a small ‘o’, though no elongated ‘Ooooooh’ was said. It must have made sense then. He nods an affirmative at you, and heads inside the bathroom.

You have to show him how the shower system works, but once you did, he seemed to get the hang of it and ushered you out so he could shower.

Well, that happened. You decide to wait for him.

Unfortunately, you had no idea how long he showers for. You bet it can’t be that long though, right?

* * *

Wrong.

That bastard had a 6 hour long shower. You counted the minutes. His shower lasted 6 hours and 23 minutes. That’s how long he showered for.

What the fuck was he doing, _dissociating???_

Roxy is going to kill you. And you’re going to kill Kurloz. Plus? You can’t shop for an “Ironing Board” now. Despite the fact that all the shopping you do is online. You are _so mad_ at him, why didn’t he _warn you???_

When he _finally_ comes out, you notice he put on a fresh layer of face paint. So _that’s_ what he was doing when the shower switched off. You _glare_ at him. You are _pissed._

“Do you know how long you showered for?” You ask, stern.

… He shrugs. He fucking _shrugs,_ so _nonchalant,_ it is _aggravating._

Oh, you’ll tell him how long, all right. You take a breath in, attempting to keep your cool.

“You showered. For 6 hours-”

“That’s a new record,” He interrupts, which _pisses you off **more.**_

 _“Don’t interrupt me.”_ You growl, and he quickly closes his mouth. “You showered for 6 hours and _23 minutes,_ ” You start pacing, about to dress him the heck down.

“Kurloz Makara, were you dissociating in the shower?” You rant, “Do you know what time it is? Do you _realise_ that the entire player’s village has probably ran out of hot water and it’s all your fault? But really it’s _my_ fault because I’m the one who made you shower in the _first place,_ good grief, Roxy is going to kill me,” You ramble on, because she _will kill you._

“‘m sorry.” … Great, now you feel bad because _he didn’t know that!!!_ Not everything is about you, Equius!!!

You tell him to shut up. It’s not his fault, but your own for not telling him about the water meter. You should have asked how long he showers for usually.

He quietly begins to explain his reasoning behind the showers. Then he tells you that you… ‘shouldn’t’ve waited.’

… _shouldn’t’ve._ Who the hell says _shouldn’t’ve??_

“… Shouldn’t’ve?” You ask. You try not to visibly laugh. That’s so incorrect.

“Yeah, shouldn’t’ve. Like Y’all’d’ve,” He explains.

You burst into a fit of giggles, “Like _‘Y’ain’t’???”_ You ask. He grins. Wait, you’re supposed to be _angry_ at him, be _angry at him!!_

You sigh. You can’t bring yourself to do it.

“I cannot seem to stay mad at you, Kurloz. Would you like something to eat?” You ask. He seems to think about the question. He looks over at the vacuum cleaner, and you’re pretty sure he’s about to say no. But. He needs feeding.

“Sure.”

… You didn’t think he’d actually say yes.

You nod and walk down the stairs. He follows you down, which you hoped. You spot a notepad on a table and pick it up. Might as well offer it to Kurloz, after all he doesn’t actually _like_ speaking. He just _has to_ for you, because you didn’t think that you _had_ to learn sign language. You pick up a pen that you were actually saving to give to Makara, but you suppose Kurloz will do. They’re both the same colour anyway.

“What would you like?” You ask once you arrive in the kitchen, “I have noodles,”

Kurloz writes something down, and shows it to you. He’s got nice handwriting.

THAT’S LITERALLY **ALL** YOU HAVE.

You sigh. He’s looked in your cupboards then. You shrug.

“Yes, I know that’s all I have. I…” You sigh. “I don’t cook much,”

I CAN TELL.

“Don’t judge me!” You reply, “I used to be really good at cooking. I just… don’t,” You haven’t cooked properly since before you even arrived in this universe. Cooking reminds you of Aurthour. It makes you sad thinking about it. You haven’t cooked anything proper since he passed. Kurloz gets your attention, and you look at what he wrote.

YOU OKAY?

… Your distress was that noticeable? “I’m fine.” You say, and he nods. You’re glad he isn’t pressing the subject. He writes some more words down, and shows you them.

DO YOU WANT ME TO MAKE SOMETHING? I DON’T MIND.

“No, I’ll.” You start, then rephrase, “I will…” It is only right that you do it and not he, but you don’t really _want_ to do it. But… you suppose, if he _is_ offering, maybe… you should say yes? You sigh. “I’d like that,” You mumble.

He places the book on your dining table, and takes out some food from your different cupboards and shelves. You watch in a sort of blurred nostalgia; it’s the same as when you were a wiggler, yet ever so different.

You miss your lusus. It’s your fault that he died in the first place; had you not been messing around with Aradiabot, maybe-

There’s no use dwelling on maybes. You uncaptchalog a towel to wipe your face, feeling all wet all of a sudden. But not from sweat. From tears. You captchalog it again and try to keep yourself from crying visibly. Kurloz didn’t even notice thankfully, too wrapped up in a cooking frenzy. You vaguely remember having those.

Soon enough, he’s done. He places a plate in front of you and you swear to God, he should be working at a restaurant. _How did he_ do _this??_ “Thank you. It looks amazing,” You say, though amazing is an understatement. He nods, before sitting down with his own plate of food. You don’t want to eat yours yet. It’s too pretty. You uncapchalog your mobile to take a photo of it.

After you had taken the photo, you notice you have countless notifications on your phone. You eat your food before checking them, despite the constant vibrations your phone is making.

“Sor-” Mmm, this is _lovely!!!!_ How did he make instant noodles taste _so GOOD?_ “Sorry about my phone,” You say. He shrugs and nods. Once you finish, you check your phone. Oh, Trollian notifications.

centaursTesticle, you have 44 messages!

… Fiddlesticks.

Some of them are Nepeta.

… _Fucklesticks._

Most of them are Roxy.

… **_Fuck._**

You read your moirails messages first.

\-- arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling centaursTesticle [CT]! --

AC: :33 < *the apex predator sn33kily stalks her prey*  
AC: :33 < *quietly and swiftly, she approaches the strong hoofbeast*  
AC: :33 < *before she pounces!!!*

\-- centaursTesticle [CT] is idle! --

AC: 33: < aww shit  
AC: :33 < i mean shoot  
AC: :33 < well i guess ill just leave a message then  
AC: :(( < sorry for not being able to come over this w33k  
AC: :(( < ive b33n _super_ busy with stuff and it sucks that i wasnt able to make good quality time with the best moirail ever  
AC: :33 < anyway, this is the message: roxys asked me to ask you if you accidentally left the shower on because all the hot water has gone  
AC: :33 < appurrently, all the hot water was being lead directly to your hive, and considering how rarely you shower now, it was sort of a surprise when she told me  
AC: :33 < if i dont get a response soon i have a f33ling roxys gonna text you too  
AC: :33 < oh  
AC: :33 < you might be sl33ping!   
AC: :33 < i furgot about your occassional naps, h33h33  
AC: :33 < that was all, r33lly!   
AC: :33 < talk later  
AC: :33 < <>

\-- arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling centaursTesticle [CT]! --

Oh. Roxy’s queries to you seem to weigh more important for the situation at hand.

… She is going to _kill you._

You decide to answer Roxy’s messages first.

\-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began trolling centaursTesticle [CT]! --

TG: hey horseface  
TG: i got a question for you

\-- centaursTesticle [CT] is idle! --

TG: oh  
TG: fcuk  
TG: *fuck  
TG: anyway  
TG: did you fuckin  
TG: leave the shower on unattented or somehtin  
TG: *unattended  
TG: becauuuuse like  
TG: were outta hot water now and the pipes lead to u  
TG: only i know this lol  
TG: that and nepeta cuz i told her  
TG: but n e way  
TG: what the fuck bro  
TG: pfft. i should of say water the fuck  
TG: lmfao  
TG: hmmm  
TG: i shore hope you aint ingoring me on porpoise  
TG: *ignoring  
TG: lmfao im on a roll here wiv deez water puns  
TG: sooooooooooooooooooo  
TG: still no response  
TG: damn are you sum kidna heavy sleeper or sumethin? Nep told me u might b sleepin  
TG: oh i bet your phone os trapped in ur sylladex  
TG: heirs is2g ur sylladexes suck  
TG: i mean have tou _seen_ mityunas? it sucks BALLS. and john? john still uses fucking STACK!!!!

\-- centaursTesticle [CT] is no longer idle! --

CT: D --> Oh good lord, why does John still use stack  
CT: D --> Oh my gosh  
TG: oh you didnt fucking die from water consuption  
CT: D -->   
CT: D --> You’re going to kill me, aren’t you?  
TG: peeeerrrrrhaps  
TG: perhaps not  
TG: if yuo can give me a good explaination as to why the fuck you think its a good idea to fuckigng use the entire villages hot water supply you _know_ im in cntrol of that shi  
TG: *t  
CT: D --> I  
CT: D --> I apologise?  
TG: u shuld bithc  
CT: D --> 100k, I didn’t

You can’t tell her about him. How can you tell her without her telling _everyone?_ But at the same time, how can you _not_ tell her, especially considering how he showers? He told you he likes his showers. He must have a lot of them. You’re going to have to tell her.

… You are NOT telling _Roxy_ about this until you’ve at least _spoken_ to Nepeta first.

CT: D --> I will get back to you shortly, I need to speak to my moirail about a very pressing issue before discussing this issue with you further  
CT: D --> Apologies  
TG: oh  
TG: okaaaaay?

Oh good, that’s been settled perfectly. Now, to talk to Nepeta.

\-- centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]! --

CT: D --> Hello  
CT: D --> I apologise for not getting back to you in good time. Tr001y, that was my foalt  
CT: D --> ... Fault, I mean fault  
AC: :DD < !!!  
AC: :33 < *SURPRISE TACKLEPOUNCE!*  
CT: D --> I  
CT: D --> Whoops, uhm  
CT: D --> *The STRONG hoofbeast is very surprised, and is successfully tacklepounced on. Robot parts fly everywhere, leaving a mess*  
CT: D --> (Did I do that right?)  
AC: :33 < (yes mew did)  
AC: :33 < anyway  
AC: :33 < did you get my messages?  
CT: D --> I did  
CT: D --> And Ro%y trolled me  
CT: D --> But I told her to wait because I wanted to discuss a   
CT: D --> More pressing issue with you first  
CT: D --> Though, said issue is related to Ro%y’s issue  
CT: D --> I did not tell her that  
CT: D --> Sh001d I have told her that?  
AC: :33 < eh  
AC: :33 < maybe  
AC: :33 < maybe not  
CT: D --> Nepeta, please  
AC: :33 < :PP  
AC: :33 < so whats the issue  
CT: D --> I

You don’t know how to phrase it. So you state the obvious.

CT: D --> I got a new ‘Roommate’?  
AC: :33 < :OO  
AC: :33 < and you only tell me MEOW?!!   
CT: D --> It is a very recent development  
CT: D --> I didn’t know how to phrase it to you   
CT: D --> Or to anyone, really  
AC: :?? < i didnt think you wanted a roommate  
CT: D --> I didn’t  
AC: :II   
AC: :|| < equius you didnt decide to adopt a hiveless hobo into the sanctuary of the Game Players hives, did you?  
CT: D --> Okay:  
CT: D --> 1) Sanctuary, really?  
CT: D --> This place is _hardly_ a sanctuary, I mean 100k at me; I’m a mess  
CT: D --> and 2) Not in so many words, but sort of, yes  
AC: :?? < how can you sort of adopt a person  
CT: D --> I found him in my pantry and decided to leave him there  
AC: :||   
AC: :// < equius why  
AC: :// < he could cull you in your sl33p  
CT: D --> He hasn’t yet, so  
CT: D --> He probably won’t  
CT: D --> In fact I am 100% sure he won’t  
AC: >:(( < you dont know that  
AC: :(( < and besides, i dont think the other game players would like the fact you brought some random person into your hive to stay  
CT: D --> Nepeta   
CT: D --> That’s kind of the 3rd point I am making  
CT: D --> Let’s just say he’s not e%actly random  
AC: >:(( < equius i swear to god if you decided to let fucking gamz33 into your fucking hive-  
CT: D --> IT’S NOT THE HIGHB100D, BEFORE YOU RANT  
CT: D --> WHY W001D IT EVEN _BE_ THE HIGHB100D  
CT: D --> Why w001d he willingly stay at my hive  
CT: D --> I’m pretty sure he hates me and not in the romantic way  
AC: :// < i THOUGHT it was him because you kept phrasing it like i KNEW him!! 33X  
CT: D -->   
CT: D --> It’s not The Highb100d. But  
CT: D -->  
CT: D --> Maybe it’s better to see for yourself  
CT: D --> How long can Ro%y wait?  
CT: D --> How fast can you get here?   
AC: :33 < 5 minutes  
AC: :33 < i am literally already on my way  
CT: D --> What  
AC: :(( < i was worried about you, so i decided to make my way ofur, then you texted so ive b33n texting you while walking  
AC: :33 < its a good thing i decided to come ofur!!  
CT: D --> Oh gosh, I   
CT: D --> I’m a mess, I don’t think I-  
AC: :33 < equius  
AC: :33 < ive s33n you worse  
AC: :33 < <>  
CT: D -->   
CT: D --> _Oh_  
CT: D --> <>  
AC: :33 < s33 you soon!! <>   
CT: D --> Yes  
CT: D --> <>

\-- arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling centaursTesticle [CT]! --

You feel yourself sweat a lot more than usual, and also probably have a bright indigo flush from the absolutely flagrant flirting from your moirail. How dare she be such a pale flirt. You don’t know what you would do without her. Something destructive, that’s for sure. You look up at your self-proclaimed ‘roommate’. He basically _is_ right now, after all.

“I have some news you may dislike,” You say, before immediately looking away. He makes a ‘hmm?’ sound. You look back, and then down into your lap, before explaining that your moirail will be over soon.

It is safe to say he doesn’t take it well. Because he blinks in shock, and escapes into the pantry. You sigh, and walk over to the now-locked door. You do not attempt to open it. Instead, you sit outside of it, carefully not leaning on the door.

“I want you to meet her,” You say. A piece of paper slides through under the door.

I DON’T WANT TO.

You sigh. If this is his game, you’ll happily play it. You get out a pen and write under his words.

D --> You can’t hide in here forever

You slide it under the door. The quick response surprises you, a few moments later.

YOUR HANDWRITING ~~MOTHERFU~~ SUCKS.

Yes, you know. You tell him that, too.

This note passing debacle distracts you until you hear the three knocks on the door, the signature Nepeta knock. Then the door opening, and a signature “I’m here!!” call.

You are so pale for her. You write a message to Kurloz.

D --> She’s here now, w001d you like to meet her?

You tell her you’re in the food prep block, and you get a fast response from Kurloz.

NO.

Well, you guess that’s that. Though you _did_ hear the door unlock. He must be curious, then. You smile a very small smile and stand up just as she enters.

“I’ve never seen your hive so clean before,” She begins, and you roll your eyes. “So……???”

“Would you like a cup of tea first? Before we begin?” She nods, and offers to make it herself. You let her, and tell her to wait a moment while you ask your ‘roommate’ if he wants some.

She must wonder why you’re going towards your pantry, because she asks.

“He’s shy,” Is your only explanation. You send a message to Kurloz.

D --> W001d you like some tea?

... MAYBE. DO YOU HAVE CHAMOMILE?

D --> I was half e%pecting you to a% for boiled Faygo

YOU HAVE NO FAYGO **TO** BOIL.

D --> Good point

“He says he wants some chamomile,” You tell Nepeta, and she nods before pulling out another pretty cat mug from her sylladex. So cute. You wish you were as delicate and cute as that mug. An impossible wish, really.

“So what, did you just decide to give him your pantry as his new respiteblock?” She asks while pouring the boiled water into the chamomile teapot, and you shrug.

“I think he likes it there,”

She looks at you. “Instead of, say, one of the _many_ empty rooms in your hive?”

… “Oh.”

You may or may not sweat a little. You forgot those rooms _existed._ Well, that just shows you how much you even _use_ those empty rooms. That is, not at all.

“You forgot they existed, didn’t you?” Yep.

“Maybe.”

“Knew it,” She says in a sing-song voice. She pours out the tea into each mug. You add plenty of milk to your ‘Human English Breakfast’ tea. You can’t help it, you love milk. You take a gentle, tender sip from it. So good.

“You make the best tea,”

“I mean, my planet _was_ The Land of Little Cubes And Tea, so I guess I just figured out how along the way,” She grins, like it’s so obvious. You inwardly smile.

You walk over and knock the pantry door, “Tea has been prepared,”

A note in response is received.

PUT IT OUTSIDE THE DOOR.

You send one in response.

D --> I’ll break the mug. Pick it up yourself

Nepeta looks at you with an eyebrow raised, but says nothing. She calmly sits down on the chair around the table, and drinks her tea. A few moments pass before a note is passed again.

OH, YOU SLY MOTHERFUCKER. YOU *PLANNED* THIS.

D --> Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t

You smirk as you send the note through. A response is received shortly after.

YOU LITTLE BITCH.

D --> Language

You walk away at that, and take a seat on the dining table, tea at hand.

“So, my roommate is very… shy,” You explain again, “He’s scared of meeting new people, worried they might like, cull him or something,”

“I mean, I doubt that would happen. We don’t know him, after all!” She responds, and you sigh.

“Again, about that. You sort of do. But not in the way you think.”

“Equius,” She takes a sip of her tea. “Spit it out already.”

“Nepeta, he’s-”

You don’t have time to spit it out because Kurloz decided that was a good chance to run (flash… step?) out and take his tea, before returning to the pantry… you assume. Nepeta’s predatory instincts kick in, and she jumps out of her seat to attack him.

Inevitably, the hot tea was spilt all over both of them.

They both cry out in pain.

“What have I told you about running with hot tea?”

Of course, you don’t get a response to that. You quickly grab a first aid kit for some burn salve. You pick them both up and drag them to your sitting room-block, which is where you apply the burn salve on both of them. Luckily, the tea wasn’t _that_ hot. It shouldn’t theoretically scar.

You notice that, somehow, Kurloz didn’t break the mug. In fact, he’s still holding it. You don’t take it off him, you could break it.

You tell them both to not move while you grab your tea. You arrive back and it looks like they didn’t even _attempt_ to speak. The mug has been ‘mysteriously’ placed on a nearby coffee table. Nepeta is growling. Kurloz _looks_ unfazed by this, but judging by the tenseness of his shoulders you think he might be at least a _little_ bit scared.

You sigh deeply, and sit in front of the both of them.

“Nepeta,” You address her, “This is my new roommate, Kurloz. He lives in my pantry,” Nepeta refuses to look at him. She also seems pretty pissed. You’ve really gone and done it _this_ time.

You turn to Kurloz, “Kurloz, this is my moirail, Nepeta,” He also refuses to look at her.

… They’re acting like _wigglers._

“Would you both just grow up and actually _speak_ to each other??” You growl. Kurloz stares at you. “She can sign,” You elaborate. Now he’s glaring at you. You figure it’s because he has absolutely no excuse to not talk to your moirail now.

“Why are you keeping a _Makara?”_ Nepeta asks. You sigh.

“Well, I found him. It’s not like he has any _other_ place to go!” You didn’t know this was true until you see Kurloz’s posture change slightly. Huh. “Besides, I know he won’t cull me because his definition of culling is different. Also he cleaned my hive, and I didn’t even ask him to! Who does that _willingly??”_

She stares at you.

“It’s true!”

She stares longer. Then she looks at Kurloz, and moves her hands. He nods, and moves his own. She looks back at you.

“Have you showered?”

“There’s no hot water,”

Kurloz attempts a whistle. He fails, miserably. She turns to him.

“Congratulations, jackass,” She says, before looking back at you. “Look, I wanna talk to your new ‘roommate’ privately, is that ok?” She asks. You nod.

“I don’t see why not,”

“Great!” She says. Kurloz makes some motions at you, but you can’t figure out what he’s trying to say.

“I’ll just. Do some robot work then,” A slightly blatant lie you can tell Nepeta sees right through. “Call me when you need me.”

“Will do!”

It’s when you’re walking up the stairs and hear Kurloz actually speaks out loud again that you realise you forgot to introduce yourself to him.

“His name is _Equius??”_

You almost fall up the stairs and nearly break your respiteblock door while escaping. You wait a couple of seconds before breathing a sigh of relief. You shuffle over to the sleeping plane and lay yourself on it, then take out your mobile communications device from your pocket.

_Phone, Equius. It’s a phone._

Oh. Roxy texted you again.

You had forgotten to text her back. After you said you would text her back. Fiddlesticks.

Though, now that you know Nepeta knows about Kurloz, you feel better sending her a message explaining the water fiasco.

\-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began trolling centaursTesticle [CT]! --

TG: dipshit   
TG: you haven’t text me back yet  
TG: i mean like  
TG: you just dropped the fuckin conversation  
TG: like  
TG: rude much?? i thought ypu wanted dirky pitch, not mw lol  
CT: D --> I was busy and forgot to te%t you back, I’m sorry  
CT: D --> Also, I’m not pitch for Dirk  
TG: suuuuuuuuure you’re not.  
TG: sure, jan  
CT: D --> My name isn’t Jan  
CT: D --> Anyway, I was speaking to my moirail about an issue  
CT: D --> That I forgot to mention was related to your issue about the water  
TG: w8, rly?  
CT: D --> Yes  
CT: D --> Why w001d I lie about this  
TG:   
TG: good point  
TG: so ur chill to tlk 2 me now?  
CT: D --> Yes  
CT: D --> But  
TG: buuut?????  
CT: D --> You have to _promise_ not to tell anyone  
TG: y????  
CT: D --> Because it’s secret and  
CT: D --> Murder might be involved if you do  
TG: whAT  
CT: D --> So do you promise?  
TG: are u gonna murdsr me if i tell?????????  
CT: D --> ...   
CT: D --> Murder of the subject in question  
CT: D --> Oh my God  
CT: D --> Why w001d I murder you  
TG: ooOOH  
TG: idk u could like fucking  
TG: go on a killin spree or smthin   
CT: D --> I have never once went on a killing spree  
TG: damn bpy  
TG: im spruised  
TG: any fukin way, i promise i wont tell a soul  
TG: you have my vpid player honour  
CT:   
CT: D --> Void Player honour acknowledged  
CT: D --> Okay  
CT: D --> So   
CT: D --> I got a new roommate  
CT: D --> It is an e%tremely recent development  
CT: D --> I did not realise he takes showers of a length which rivals Dirk’s  
CT: D --> I sh001d have a%ed  
CT: D --> Promise to not tell anyone  
TG:   
TG: why would your roommate be murdered bc of a logn shower  
CT: D --> Because  
CT: D --> Makara  
CT: D --> Makara is why  
TG: makara??? whas that got ta do w this??   
TG: like ik we both knwo wher gamzee is, and you KNOw i aint told nobody about _the little thing you’re sbeakily hinding you sneaky sneaker_  
CT: D --> Shh!!  
TG: so like i dont  
TG:   
TG: wait   
TG: _WAIT_  
TG: is that it?  
TG: did he move locations????  
TG: _**is he ur new roomie??**_  
CT: D --> _MAKARA IS NOT MY ROOMMATE_  
TG: no?  
CT: D --> No!!!!  
CT: D --> _Kurloz_ is  
CT: D --> The _other_ Makara  
TG: _*****omfg*****_  
TG: u found mime clown makara????   
TG: i dont believe this  
CT: D --> Well  
CT: D --> Technically, he found me  
TG: what??  
CT: D -->   
CT: D --> I locked him in my pantry by a%ident  
TG: SJSKDJDIDIDJDIRKE  
CT: D --> Your keysmash spelt ‘Dirk’  
TG: lmfao ur rigt :p  
TG: also tjats fuciin hilarious how long did it take u to relaise he was there???  
CT: D -->  
CT: D --> Not that long  
CT: D --> I swear  
TG: horse face  
TG: how long  
CT: D --> Four days  
TG: SKJDSRRKRKHDJRORO  
TG: IN FUCKGIMG CRYING  
CT: D --> That’s not that long!!  
TG: HOW DID U NOT KNOW THERE WAS A POOR GUY LOCKED IN UR FUCKIG PANTRY U DUMMY  
CT: D --> IT WASN’T LIKE HE MADE A RACKET  
CT: D --> He was really quiet!!  
CT: D --> He _is_ really quiet  
CT: D --> And he _cleans_  
CT: D --> Did you know there are people who _clean **willingly**_  
TG: like dirk?  
CT: D --> No, I mean  
CT: D --> Cleaning an entire _hive_ willingly  
TG: ok so not too dirk  
TG: maybe veering into an eridan level of cleaning  
TG: perhaps karkat levels  
CT: D --> It e%ceeds Karkat levels  
CT: D --> And Eridan is a mess   
CT: D --> We all know it  
TG: so’s dirk  
TG: and u  
CT: D --> Yes  
CT: D --> But I don’t pretend I’m not a mess  
CT: D --> I willingly a%ept that I am a awful mess of a troll  
CT: D --> I sh001d speak to Nepeta about that, sh001dn’t I?  
TG: yes  
TG: oh, does she know about this????  
CT: D --> “This” is why I wanted to hold our conversation in the first place until I had spoken to her first  
CT: D --> You stole my moirail Ro%y  
CT: D --> You stole her for an entire week  
CT: D --> My weekly schedule fell into disarray  
CT: D --> The only highlight was Karkat’s weekly updates  
CT: D --> (... E%cluding the errant Highb100d hiding in my pantry, of course)  
CT: D --> (But he had been discovered last Sunday)  
TG: :p  
TG: bt fo real  
TG: she knows now?  
CT: D --> Yes  
CT: D --> She is conversing with him as we speak, and hopefully not killing him  
TG: :o  
TG: oh, odd question??  
TG: do u know his classpect?  
CT: D --> I didn’t even _introduce_ myself to him Ro%y  
CT: D --> How am I supposed to have a%ed him what his classpect is?  
CT:   
CT: D --> He’s Rage, judging by Makara’s Aspect  
CT: D --> So, if I make an educated guess   
CT: D --> I’d say a Prince of Rage, due to the Beforan group missing that class and aspect  
CT: D --> Why  
TG:   
CT: D --> Ro%y?  
TG: _GOD DAMN PRINCES AND THEIR INFINITY SHOWERS_  
CT:   
CT: D --> _OOOOOOOOHHHHHH_  
CT: D --> THAT MAKES SO MUCH MORE SENSE NOW   
TG: FOR FUCKS SAKE  
CT: D --> Mood  
TG: equiud stfu you disocciate in the shower  
CT: D --> ...  
CT: D --> So  
CT: D --> Where else can I safely dissociate?  
TG: ... tbh mood  
TG: anyway i need to speak 2 ur new roomie bc like  
TG: does he have a set shower schedule  
TG: ik dirk doesnt but like i also know dirk and how & when he showers sO i can prepare 4 that  
TG: but like idfk how or when ur roomie showers  
CT: D --> ...  
CT: D --> How am I supposed to a% that?  
TG: idk??  
TG: using words preferably??  
CT: D --> I don’t know if he even has a _phone_  
TG: damn son   
TG: riip lol  
CT: D --> I suppose I’ll have to a% now though  
TG: damn str8 u will!!   
TG: fuck bruh hows a gal supposed to rejig the water supply for the newbie discreetely if she dont know how often he cleans himself ??  
CT: D -->   
CT: D --> Shh  
TG: u KNOW im rigt  
TG: jus admit  
CT: D --> Never  
TG: txt me when u know abt his showering  
CT: D --> I  
CT: D --> Okay  
TG: seeeeeee ya!!

\-- tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased trolling centaursTesticle [CT]! --

Well, that’s been dealt with now. You and Roxy have a decent (ish?) relationship. It is sort of full of banter. You at least think so.

You hope so.

You’re not sure if she likes you. She likes everyone, so obviously she likes _you,_ but the fear is still… well, there. She certainly prefers Nepeta, for personal reasons she doesn’t want to expose, but your not sure if she likes _you._ You’re overprotective, so you’re always looking out for Nepeta at all times, so maybe she’s… wait, you’re not as overprotective as you used to be. It’s the other way around now.

…

You’re a bad moirail.

And you know it.

You try and try to become a better one, but you know that it will never happen. You roll over onto your stomach.

_Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh._

You roll back onto your back. Okay, make a list of what you need to do for the week. A small little list. You can handle a list. Just list out what you need to do. List sounds weird now. You sit up and grab a notepad.

D --> 1\. A% Kurloz’s about his showers  
D --> 2\. Eat at least once a day, maybe twice  
D --> 3\. * Talk to Nepeta about week * (Important)  
D --> 4\. Shower when water returns  
D --> 5\. Go to Kanaya and give some b100d at some point  
D --> 6\. Avoid the Beforan Heiress at all costs  
D --> 7\. Tell Ro%y about Kurloz’s showers

You can handle all seven of these things!

… Stop lying to yourself, no you can’t.

You lay back onto the laying platform and sigh. You seriously can’t do this. You feel a little bit like crying, honestly. It might seem like seven small things but. There’s so much more than that. There’s just _so much._

Everything happens so much.

You end up having a nap instead.

* * *

… You slept for 12 hours.

Whoops.

That was so rude of you to do. You have _guests_ and you decide to just _And not just that, you sleep for 12 fucking hours, too. And you had the _gall_ to complain at Kurloz for his 6 hour shower. How much of a hypocrite can you be?_

Aurthour would _really_ be proud of you right now. Sarcasm there, because he certainly _wouldn’t be._

…

You grab a fluffy comfort… thing (Pillow? Is it called a pillow?) and press it up against your face. You huff out a sigh.

You miss your lusus _a lot._ You selfishly think you miss your lusus more than anyone else, but you know that isn’t true. You don’t know why it’s affecting you so badly though. Everyone else has moved on already.

So _why can’t you?_

You probably should talk to Nepeta about this. But it’s hard! You don’t know how to say it, and you’re pretty sure that’s why she doesn’t want to talk to you all the time now.

You dread that something as little as this would cause the two of you to…

You don’t want to say it.

That will never happen.

You are going to talk to her about it.

_… That requires getting out of the human comfort plank. Come on._

Your body continues to lie there.

_This is not getting up._

Unfortunately, the flesh husk that is the confines of your body doesn’t want to function with you. Why does it exist again, it’s useless.

You wonder if you can dissociate hard enough that you end up astral projecting.

It still doesn’t want to move.

You sigh. Luckily your phone is near you. You open a chat to Nepeta.

CT: D --> Nepeta, my body doesn’t want to listen to me. What do I do

You don’t expect a response straight away, so you are quite surprised when you get one.

AC: :33 < good morning to you too, sleepyhead!  
AC: :33 < ill be right up

Right up…?

Oh. She must have stayed over.

… _Oh._

You don’t even attempt to hide your blush. She’s too good for you. Far too good. You don’t deserve such an amazing moirail.

She opens the door carefully and bounds into the room. She doesn’t tacklepounce you, (she hasn’t for a while, excluding your conversations through text, and you miss that), but she does sit on the comfort plank thing next to you.

“So, you can’t move?” She asks.

“My body is being uncooperative with my thinkpan. Make it cooperate, please,”

She nods, but doesn’t seem to do much of anything for a while. She sighs. “I will make you some toast,”

You jolt up at that because you don’t want your hive burnt to the ground (again), “DON’T.”

She giggles, “Wow, it actually worked!”

You blink, before chuckling yourself, “Yeah, I suppose it did.”

You need to tell her. Your problems, the fact you can’t let go of stupid, wigglerish things - even now. You open your mouth to speak, but promptly shut it.

You can’t do it.

“I sent Kurloz to one of the spare blocks to rest, by the way, and completed some of the chores on your list!”

“You… Nepeta I both do not deserve you and cannot believe that you didn’t cull him.” You tell her, deadpan.

She shrugs, “He doesn’t seem that bad! Must be a Beforus thing,”

You nod, “Yeah. Beforus thing.” You sigh softly. She looks at you, tilting her head.

“Is something wrong, Equius?” She asks.

You can’t tell her.

You’re already keeping so much from her. You’re a bad moirail. It is you. Scratch that, you are quite possibly the worst moirail in existence.

“I’m fine,” You manage to say, attempting a small smile to soothe her fears. She keeps on looking at you, chewing on her lip as if she doesn’t believe you. “Stop chewing your lip, Nepeta, you’re going to make it bleed.”

“I don’t believe you.”

You knew it.

“It’s hard to explain.” You try to explain.

“Tell me after breakfast, you’re hungry.” She says, sharp. She does this when she’s annoyed at you for not telling her you’re having problems. You’re supposed to be the strong one. You can’t have problems.

Yet, here we are.

You follow her downstairs anyway. You pull her away from the toaster, and make your own food. You ask her if she wants tea, and she nods before making a pot. You flash a brief smile at that.

“Do you want something to eat too?” You ask. She shrugs, says she’s already eaten earlier, but you put another slice in the toaster for her too. You notice her noticing you do that, but pay her no mind.

It’s when you’ve put the plate of toast in front of her, and she gives you a mug of hot tea that she speaks to you again.

“I put Kurloz in one of the spare rooms,”

“You what?” You ask, confused.

“You didn't even think about housing him, Equius. I thought to give him his own room instead of sleeping in a cold ass pantry, y’know?” She explains. It's a good explanation. Fuck.

“That’s fair.” You say, sighing, “I didn’t even think about that.”

You both continue to eat and drink your respective food products.

“You’re not talking to me about something,” She says, once you both finished. “You’re not telling me something, and I’m worried, Equius. I’m really worried about you.”

You listen to her, looking into your lap. You don’t, you can’t-

“Maybe we need a pile for this,” You mumble softly, “This is a lot to talk about.”

You look up and notice her looking at you. You nod.

“Well, we should get one ready then, shouldn’t we?” She giggles.

You are so, so pale for her.

You would kill for her. You died for her. You’d do it again, too. You can’t let anything happen to her again - you won’t. You refuse. It’s something that will never happen again.

You nod, and carry her up the stairs again, and kick open your workshop door. It has a bunch of robot parts scattered around it - so you put her down and both get onto grabbing assorted robot parts and pelts from her sylladex into the pile. Finally, you put a blanket onto the finished product.

“We’re done,” You say, a little out of breath. You refuse to leave a pile just out in the open (your mind is reminded of the Highblood’s… horn pile, completely out there, how lewd), and prefer to make your own piles from scratch every time. It's a nice workout and also a good bonding activity. You and Nepeta have this agreement around this; you have done ever since you got together.

“Yeah,” She responds, a small smile on her face. “Wanna start piling?”

You’re actually slightly nervous. You both haven’t had a proper piling session in a long time. “I… I’m slightly nervous,” You tell her, because she’s your moirail and deserves to know how you're feeling.

She smiles a small smile, before looking at you strangely. By strangely you mean that look is devious.

“I guess I’ll have to make you relax then, won’t I?” She says, sly. You recognise that look.

Oh, Sugar Honey Iced Tea.

You nod, slightly flustered. She slowly walks over to stand next to you. She takes your hand and slowly leads you towards the pile, and you follow her. You follow her lead and allow yourself to be completely wrecked by her, knowing that she’s perfectly capable of doing so. You know her. You can tell what she'll do next.

But your guess was wrong. She does something entirely different.

This is different.

This is so very different.

She goes about it in a completely different way than what you would expect her to go - her act is completely different.

… Different sounds weird now.

Anyway, her act is softer, more subtle.

She sits you down into the pile and sits next to you, smiling softly. That’s when you expect her to pap you and get you to talk. But instead, she strokes your cheek and puts her other hand in your hair. You feel your face getting hotter than it usually is.

She’s going for the long game, it seems.

“Lie down,” She orders, and you comply. You place your head in her lap. She smiles and continues to give you a head massage. “You’re anxious about something, aren’t you?” She asks.

You nod, unable to form words correctly. Her hands move over to your horns, and you feel yourself relax in her hold. You’re safe here. You’re so safe here. You’re oh so safe here.

“Why don’t you tell me all about it, ey?” She says, her words as soft as a gentle breeze, and as smooth as silk. God, she’s so good at this. You could die.

You make some unintelligible sounds. She strokes your hair in that one part that makes you _croon._ That’s your breaking point. You spill everything. And by everything, you mean _everything._ Every little thing. From knowing where Gamzee is all the way through to you still sobbing because you still can’t get over your lusus’s death. Everything happens so much and it’s all been weighing on you for so long.

She didn’t seem to react yet, as if she’s decided what mountain of your problems to cover first.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She whispers.

You sob, “I was worried you’d hate me.”

“Equius,” She sighed, still stroking your hair, “I could never hate you. But I _am_ annoyed,”

“I’m sorry?” You attempt, but she stops stroking your hair and crosses her arms.

“Not gonna cut it this time.” She says, smirking.

“Oh nooo,” You moan, not really meaning it.

“Talk, fuckface,” She orders you, and you sigh and chastise her on her language.

“I’ve already spoken,”

“Explain the Makara Situation.” She says.

You sigh. You explain the ‘Makara Situation’ as best you can - in that you knew where he was, and still do even. You can’t pinpoint him down exactly, but you know his whereabouts. You make sure to tell her that no one else can know because you don’t want him to die. It’s stupid really considering everything that happened; he _killed_ you, killed _Nepeta,_ for goodness sake! But still, _still,_ you care about him. You care about him in ways you can’t physically describe - whether it be from the remnants of the time you were merged with an AI, whether it be remnants of when _that form_ was merged with something unfathomable, you just don’t know. You just feel… attached, somehow. You can’t let anything happen to him - it feels like a part of you is _missing._ You don’t know how to fix that. It’s scary.

She takes it all in. She nods, debating on what she’s going to say, before sighing. “Fine. I won’t give out information you don’t want me to,” She says, “What’s this about your lusus now?”

The pile session carries on like that, her asking you simple questions and you responding with in-depth explanations. You tried to ask Nepeta about her problems but she brushes you off. “This is about you,” She had told you, “Don’t worry about me. I don’t have any pressing issues right now,”

“But I feel like I’m not helping you,” You had argued.

“You’re helping me by talking to me in the first place,” She argued back.

You had followed up with a small argument of you feeling like you’re taking advantage of her and not giving anything in return. She sighs and offers you to wash her hair.

You haven’t done that with her in what feels like sweeps. You fail to stop the huge blush that spreads on your face. You also fail to stop yourself muttering ‘oh my gosh’. She giggles.

She allows you to sit up and pick her up - you can pick her up with ease, but you like to ask permission before doing that. Her, on the other hand, will give only a single nod - her signal - before picking you up and walking you out of a situation. She knows how that looks to people, and _revels_ in it. She’s proud of her ability to pick people up. She’s _strong._ It’s another reason why you’re so pale for her. You can be weak around her - but also strong around her, too. You don’t have to hold back… much. You still fear hurting her, of course, but you don’t hold back as much as you normally would. That makes you happy.

You walk her to the bathroom. For some reason, you have _so many bathrooms._ You honestly can’t figure out why you have so many bathrooms. This particular one has a bathtub. Turns out, the humans also call this a bathtub, instead of an ablution trap. HA. YOU WIN. YOU WERE _RIGHT._ Not to degrade lowbloods, but ablution trap sounds just stupid, in your opinion. You put her down and begin to fill up the tub, making small talk as you do. She nods along at your talking to her, making affirming sounds.

“Tell me when it’s the right temperature for you, ok?” You tell her.

She smiles, “Will do, don't worry.” She puts a frond into the tub water, feeling it around a little. She instructs you on how warm/cool to make it, and you follow through the orders directed to you. Once it’s been filled to a temperature that is adequately comfortable to her (the temperature seems a little on the warm side for you personally, but this is about _you_ helping _her,_ so you'll just have to _deal with it)_ she undresses herself (to which you help in any way you can, and she herself takes your t-shirt off. ‘You’re just gonna get it wet’, she said) and steps into the tub.

“How’re you feeling now, Equi-hiss?” She asks, and despite not seeing her face you _know_ exactly what look she’s giving you. It’s a smirk. Especially considering the pun she used unabashedly.

You shrug, smiling. “Much better,” You tell her, “Less… heavy.” Of course, you know full well that just talking about it won’t solve the issue that is ‘you think you’ll never get over the death of your lusus, and you’re low-key hiding a fugitive, and also you’re high-key depressed’, but it’s a start.

She looks over her shoulder to smile at you. “That’s good, then.”

You warn her to close her eyes before pouring the hot water over her hair. She bristles akin to a meowbeast. She hates baths. You know she hates baths, but apparently, you make them more bearable. At least, that’s what she said.

…

Hehehe.

Anyway, you squirt some shampoo into your hand and begin to massage it into her hair, being careful around the sensitive areas of her horns and head. You regret what happened, of course, if you could take back your stupid, abhorrent actions to abide by an obviously flawed system, you would.

(How was it that someone as smart as Captor was so low, how was it that someone as vibrant as _Aradia_ was the lowest of the low, when someone like _Gamzee,_ stupid, high off his face _Makara_ was so high up? The system was biased and flawed and you never understood _why;_ you never questioned _why._ You should have questioned it, looked deeply into it - you _knew_ it was a flawed system, why did you not question the validity? Why did you follow it blindly because of a stupid sense of _obligation???_ This is why you hate yourself, honestly.)

But you try not to think too deeply into that, because Nepeta will grill you with questions again and this moment is supposed to be you looking after her after all she did to help you. You don’t know how you were blessed with such an amazing, understanding moirail. You don’t deserve it and yet here she is, and here you are.

You warn her again before pouring the water over her head again. She bristles before shaking some suds out of her hair. Of course, some end up in your eye, to which you mistakenly use the bathwater to rinse. Of course, you accidentally scald yourself and have to blindly run over to the sink to rinse out with cooler water.

“Oh my gosh,” She says, sounding obviously worried but a tad amused too, “Are you ok?”

You nod, starting to chuckle a little yourself. “Yes, I’m fine. Don’t worry about it. The water is kind of hot,”

She stares at you for a moment, not registering what you had said. But soon enough, it hits her and she realises with a pang of regret. “Oh my gosh, I completely forgot we had different measurements of hot, shit,”

“Language,”

“Shoot,”

“Better,” You smile, releasing a small sigh. “Nepeta, I had no intention of getting myself wet, I wanted this to be something special for you, you need to relax.” You explain to her.

She smiles at you, “Well, that’s a little redundant now, isn’t it?”

… Well, she isn’t wrong. You are literally all wet. “I suppose you’re right,” You sigh, looking down at yourself, “I am essentially soaked.”

She bursts out laughing at you, before picking up the cup you used to pour water over her hair and turning on the blue tap attached to the bathtub. She fills up the cup.

“What are you doing-”

That's when she threw the cup of water over you, _“Now,_ you’re literally soaked. Drenched, you could say,”

You glare at her.

“Oh, it is _on,”_

She grins maniacally, “That’s what I thought you’d say, you dumb fuckin’ horse,”

You grab a measuring jug from under the sink, pouring some water into it. “All bets are off,”

“Bring it, bitch,”

You grin as well, matching her maniacal leer, “Let’s get to it.”

 

Three hours and two outfits drenched later, Nepeta and yourself finally finished the impromptu water fight she started. It was safe to say that the overall show ended up in a respectable draw. You know. Considering neither of you gave up and she ended up dragging you into the lukewarm (but to her it was cold) bath.

…

Okay, maybe you lost fair and square.

But you’d never admit that. You’re far too competitive. You think it might be an indigoblood thing.

Then again, Nepeta is awfully competitive too.

… Huh, maybe you are both compatible in that way.

Right now, you’re both wrapped in a very fluffy blanket, and underneath that another fluffy towel. Nepeta put on a movie on human Netflix - a so-called ‘Disney’ movie. You feel like you’ve seen something similar in the past, but you’re not entirely sure.

“Is there a troll version of human Disney?” You mumble.

She shrugs, “Probably. This is ‘the movie adaption of the one play by troll Shakespeare featuring a highblood who was exiled by their ancestor after culling his lusus, the highblood prince was raised by a rustblood and a bronzeblood who-”

You cut her off, suddenly remembering, “Oh, the one with the musical number meaning ‘don’t worry about it’?”

She nods, “Yeah!”

“Ooh!” You say, suddenly understanding, “My lusus never let me watch the part when his ancestor culls the highblood prince’s lusus. Apparently, he was worried I’d get emotionally scarred.”

“I can see why he’d think that,” She mumbles, “You do care a lot for him,”

“Nepeta, he’s dead,”

“Dead or alive, you still _care!_ Equius, I’m worried about you!” She says, nuzzling her head into the crook of your neck. You don’t look at her, instead deciding to watch the TV. She notices you ignore her, and you can feel her glare. She nudges your side with your elbow, and you make vague noises of discomfort before turning your attention to her again. You suppose you deserved that, considering you’re still avoiding the situation.

The situation she now knows about.

“Hey,” She mumbles.

“Hm?”

“Why did you stop making food?”

That makes you stop processing.

“It’s hard to explain,” You decide to go with, knowing that it would be an unsatisfactory answer for her. You clear your throat. “I… Well.”

You can’t explain.

She waits for you, however, ever patient for an explanation. You deserve to give her that much. Your thoughts are all jumbled up, but you soon are able to explain.

You tell her that your lusus taught you the basics of cooking, and it was an activity the two of you had done for a while. It bonded you together, no matter how many plates, glasses, utensils, bowls, and other things you had broke during the exploits. It was something you had done together. Once he passed, you couldn’t pick it back up. Everything seemed to never go to plan, and one time you even had a miniature breakdown because you tried to make something but it wouldn’t come out the way it would if Aurthour was there. You miss him so much. He was a good sprite, and an even better butler - you could actually speak to him with words for once.  Not that you really wanted to, you were never good with words. You finish off by telling her that every time you tried to make something, you’d think of how much you wish your lusus was there, and have to stop.

She sighs.

“Equius, you sentimental idiot,”

You rest your head atop of hers. You suppose you are.

Thinking about your lusus - _talking_ about your lusus - made you realise something. You actually prefer non-verbal speaking.

You wonder why you never picked up sign language before. Considering everything, you really should have.

“Nepeta?”

"Yeah?"

“I wish to learn how to sign.”

She looks at you, sceptical.

“Well it’s about friggin’ time,”

* * *

As it turns out, learning sign language is harder than you anticipated it to be. Kurloz helps. If, of course, helping is chuckling at you when you sign something so wrong it ends up being an out of context meme. It helps, though. You’ve let him keep the room Nepeta put it in, he seemed settled there. It’s warmer than the pantry anyway, despite how many times you've found him in there.

You notice that he has occasional panic attacks. So when you spot him hiding in the corner of the pantry, or locked up in his respiteblock, you leave him to it. Occasionally, if he’s in the pantry, you sit next to him. You don’t say anything and neither does he. Sometimes he thanks you for staying. You say that it wasn’t a problem. He doesn’t mention it the next time you see him, so neither do you.

In the time he’s been here with you, he's helped you out a lot. Be it cooking, cleaning (definitely the cleaning thing), and general support. You can’t say you don't like it, because, well, you do. A lot. You needed the comfort of another person, and if that means not telling anyone (except those who already know) he exists in your hive, then that’s fine.

You had spoken to him a few weeks ago about people changing, and what this would mean for you. He told you to stop being a fucking idiot. He wasn’t wrong though, so you listened.

You notice things, though. It’s one of your more defining traits. One of these things is that he’s worried about your dancestor’s disappearance. More than he should be, and more that he seems like. More worried than you even, and you worry about everything.

So on the day you see him come downstairs with blood dripping from his arm, you begin to worry about him more. When he tells you not to worry, that it was an accident, you worry about him even further. You grab the first aid kit and he moans, but he lets you carry on.

You fuss.

You just want to help.

So you let him cook, despite your protests to rest his arm. You don’t mention the fact you know full well that your oversized hoodie is still in his possession, even washing it and placing it in Kurloz’s pile of washing. You let him clean, do his ritual things he needs to complete (the sounds of clicking are actually quite a nice change from the constant silence). You don’t ask him difficult questions, you don’t ask him to explain himself - you don’t know what he needs to explain anyway. You ignore that situation as you should. You do what you do best: let someone else take the lead, and give people what they need when they need it.

Whether it’s to make right every wrong you’ve committed, maybe it’s to make yourself a better person, who knows. You certainly don’t. You don’t want to, either.

You are the Void, and the Void was never meant to have emotions. Never mind be an emotional wreck.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope u enjoyed the long awaited instalment of Void!


End file.
